SURVIVING A BREAK UP

Who says men don’t cry? I sat down on the corridor of my 3 bedroom flat sobbing uncontrollably like a baby.I had loved much, given much, worked it hard much. But it had still failed. This is the one I had called the most beautiful girl in the world. Now, she had to leave.She told me it was over.

Today, I have come to believe that what is not yours

is not yours no matter how hard you try.

This break up tore into my soul.
Have you had that kind of experience before?

O I did everything to see that I could to mend that relationship. I knelt down to beg her. I called and called again and again. Told her that I would be whatever she wanted me to be….and all that.

Today, I look back at those days and laugh at how I so behaved. How could I throw away all of my pride? It never occurred to me that I could meet someone FAR BETTER who would accept me the way I was.Flaws and all.

Let me share with you how to survive a break up. You don’t have to be so broken as I was.There is a smarter way.I call it break-up survival strategies

(1)BOW OUT GRACEFULLY WITH YOUR SELF ESTEEM IN TACT. Try to leave the person thinking “He/she is really something” not “Whew! I am glad I am rid of that one”

(2)DO YOUR WEEPING PRIVATELY. Don’t be ashamed to feel sad. It is normal reaction during a time of hurt. Cry, if you have to. But do your crying privately. That is where I got it wrong. I thought shedding tears before her would make a difference. It only ended making me weak.I am sure in her mind she was like: Isn’t this suppose to be George Essien? Many ladies do that. They literally cry helplessly before that man when they should be crying privately before God.

(3)DON’T GET INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP QUICKLY: A mistake most make.It is important that you ask anyone you want to date when his or last relationship broke off.This is important so that you don’t get involved with someone who is still hurting .Give yourself at least 6 months to reflect and reviewing your past relationship before getting into another one.

(4)KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Get involved in group activities. For me, I plunged myself deeper into PowerMinds Community, a human development organization I had created many years ago. I even began encouraging other people who had similar issues and giving them hope.

You most likely will meet your new man in your place of work or assignment.

One last thing, this will be of tremendous help. Every one who suffers a heart break or tragedy goes through 4 stages. Knowing these three stages enables you go through it gracefully.Here are they.

(a)DENIAL: First the unwillingness to accept that the break up has happened.

(b)ANGER: Anger turned outward.Chances are that one tends to blame others and God for the break up.

(c)ANGER AND GUILT TURNED INWARDS: Blaming yourself for what happened.

(d)GENUINE GRIEF: Weeping and resolution phase. This is the last phase where we cry the ‘last cry’ and it is over.

Remember that your EX had no more fun breaking off with you than you had in receiving the news. Just because this person broke off with you doesn’t mean that no one in the world would want. Your best is yet to come.

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